It occurs to me that I’m doing too much.
I woke up today with a plan to do some sprints of sorts with my to-do list by setting my timer and working for ten and twenty minute segments at a time on: knitting, cleaning, Jack Friday stuff (sewing), and writing. So I have clean sheets and clothes, making it several inches on a sweater sleeve, and sewing a prototype for a new product. And I also am carrying around a big pile of exhaustion. This is one of those days where my body reminds me that I cannot do everything I used to be able to do. Just completing these few things completely wiped me out.
Casey was transferring my stuff to my brand new, price-mistake-on-MacMall Macbook Air and I didn’t have access to a computer for part of the day, so I put off writing until night time when I was completely exhausted. I also was putting it off because like I mentioned yesterday, I’m really at the point where I need a good program to help me edit. Or is this an excuse? I don’t totally know.
7:30 PM I managed to finally get to the computer. I started from the very beginning of this manuscript, reading every excruciating word and trying to hold in the urge to erase the first third of my novel. Not that I’m saying the rest of it is Pulitzer-worthy or anything, but damn if I haven’t improved since those opening scenes. Wow. Amazing what 45,000 words of experience will do.
I started editing out some things and probably lost close to three hundred words before I realized I was working against my own word count for the day. I puzzled over this for a solution and hit upon, for now, bolding any words/sentences/paragraphs that need to go and leaving them to be deleted another day. I’m not close enough to my final draft to start pulling them out entirely. I still have maybe 10% of scenes that need to be written, plus ALL transitions. Right now, it’s just a ton of cleanup.
The biggest issue is that when I started writing, I literally only had the idea of dolls on doorsteps and a heroine with endometriosis and that was it. So the characters have changed a bit since my first word-vomit. One big difference is that one character changed from being Patrick Dempsey in my head to Jesse Williams. And with that his personality changed a bit as well. Then I had new story ideas as I went along, so certain sentences no longer apply. I finally know who Marion Sinclair really is, I think. And I need to change her early behavior to reflect that more clearly.
It’s hard to slog through these words and layer in more because it’s a much slower process than just word-vomiting it all up, but I got it done despite my exhaustion and overall anxiety.
1752 words today, folks, though I think it was actually closer to 2000 what with the deletions. Live and learn!
On my mind: Perfection.
Trying really hard not to delete whole scenes. Leaving them as-is as much as possible and just changing ideas where they no longer make sense.
I do feel though that once I have a few books under my belt my first drafts will get cleaner. I’m still learning how exactly to build a story!
Words this month: 5271.